Why emotional design is the next frontier in user experience.
Why emotional design is the next frontier in user experience.
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May 5, 2025
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I remember the first time an app surprised me. I’d ordered groceries online countless times before. Pick items, choose delivery, done. Always the same.
But one day, something changed. As I opened the app, a simple message appeared:
“We noticed you ordered birthday candles. Happy birthday from all of us!”
I paused, smiled, and immediately showed my wife. A tiny gesture, but suddenly, the app felt less like software and more like a thoughtful friend. That wasn’t just good service; it was genuine hospitality.
In the world of technology, we constantly obsess over perfect code, smooth user interfaces, and cutting-edge AI. Yet, despite these advancements, most software feels impersonal. It works perfectly, but it doesn’t make users feel special.
Maybe the thing our products need most isn’t more AI. Maybe it's more humanity.
Today, great software is everywhere. Users now expect apps to work flawlessly, just like we expect our food at restaurants to taste good. But do we become loyal customers just because the food tastes good? Usually not.
We become loyal when we feel truly valued. Hospitality expert Will Guidara calls this "unreasonable hospitality": going beyond what’s expected to create memorable moments. It’s about noticing the little things and acting on them, even if it's not scalable or easy.
In tech, being "unreasonable" might seem out of place. We optimize for efficiency and scale. But the truth is, perfect software alone can’t make users feel special. It takes genuine hospitality, small, thoughtful acts, to make software truly unforgettable.
Imagine two banking apps.
The first works flawlessly: it tracks your spending, moves money effortlessly, and never crashes. You appreciate it, but you rarely think about it.
The second app also works flawlessly. But when you overspend one month, it gently reassures you: “Don’t worry—we’ve all been there.” It suggests simple steps to get back on track. When you hit your savings goal, it celebrates with cheerful confetti on your screen: “You did it!”
Both apps do their job. Only the second one connects emotionally. That’s the one you remember, use repeatedly, and enthusiastically recommend to others. That’s hospitality in action.
Software companies rely heavily on data: clicks, engagement time, conversions. But numbers rarely capture how users truly feel. Data-driven teams see users as numbers. Hospitality-driven teams see them as people.
Hospitality resonates because it addresses basic human desires: feeling special, appreciated, and remembered. Users form deeper connections when software understands their emotional needs, not just their functional ones.
Small, thoughtful gestures matter far more than we realize. Humans are naturally wired to respond positively to pleasant surprises. When software surprises us in meaningful ways, it builds bonds that analytics alone can’t measure.
Take Spotify’s “Wrapped” feature. Spotify didn't have to create personalized annual playlists, but they did. Users didn’t just appreciate it; they loved it, shared it widely, and eagerly awaited it each year. Spotify turned data into memories. That’s hospitality at its finest.
Think about your favorite coffee shop. The barista knows your name, asks about your family, and remembers exactly how you like your coffee. These interactions make you feel valued and seen.
Until recently, conversational AI lacked this warmth. Each interaction was isolated and impersonal. But this is rapidly changing.
Today’s conversational AIs remember past conversations. They can recall your previous feelings, preferences, and moods. Imagine chatting with an AI assistant about a stressful workday. Weeks later, without prompting, it gently suggests taking a break or sends an encouraging message tailored just for you. It remembers. It cares.
Emotional Connection: AI’s Next Big Opportunity
Companies obsess over user engagement through interfaces and algorithms. Yet real engagement, the kind that creates lasting loyalty, comes from emotional connections.
Imagine a fitness AI that congratulates you after you recover from an injury. Or a financial assistant that notices your anxiety about budgeting and proactively offers supportive guidance. These emotionally intelligent interactions don’t just solve problems, but they create memories.
Conversational AI, powered by emotional understanding and memory, can create bonds that traditional apps can’t match. Users don’t just use these products; they rely on them, look forward to them, and trust them.
It’s no accident that the giants of AI are so interested in social media. Platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and X (Twitter) are full of emotional context: users’ moods, life events, preferences, and vulnerabilities. AI systems trained on this data can anticipate users' emotional states, offering empathy and care proactively.
But does hospitality require tapping into users’ social media? Maybe not.
Perhaps the bigger opportunity lies in openly and transparently interacting with users. Instead of secretly mining their social media lives, conversational AI could genuinely ask users how they feel and what they need. It could build trust through honest interactions, treating users as friends rather than data points.
People willingly share personal details when they trust the relationship. Genuine hospitality involves asking sincerely, listening carefully, and responding thoughtfully, not just using collected data secretly.
We stand at a turning point. Conversational AI is becoming capable of more than efficiency. It can now become emotionally intelligent, authentically caring, and deeply hospitable. But achieving this will require deliberate effort from product designers, technologists, and companies.
Because in the end, users return to products not only because they work perfectly, but because they make us feel seen, understood, and genuinely cared for.
It’s not AI alone that will transform your software product, it’s hospitality, delivered thoughtfully and consistently.
Let’s build software that users don’t just use, but truly love.
The silent shift from operations to business model disruption.
